Being Bobby Brown's Toilet

Have any of you seen the new "reality" show starring (and I use the term starring very loosely) Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston?

While laying in bed the other night, I was looking on my 100 channels for something to watch, which meant I was just holding the channel up button down, and going around and around and around. There's nothing good on tv.

Until I landed on Bravo's show Being Bobby Brown.

I watched it, not unlike one would watch a train wreck or a car accident. Morbid curiousity, horrific facination, sheer disbelief.

I discovered that I wouldn't want to "be" Bobby Brown. Nor would I want to "be" Whitney Houston. Nor would I want to "be" anywhere around these people.

They are awful. They appear to have a lack of social and parenting skills. (The way the younger daughter looks at her parents...it seems to be a cross between disbelief and hatred.) There seems to be a substance abuse problem.

Words I thought of while I was watching this show:

Self-centered, self-important, blowhard, egocentric, egomaniacal, egotistic, egotistical, grandstanding, hot-dogging, know-it-all, narcissistic, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-interested, self-involved, self-seeking, self-serving, selfish, swelled head, egoistic, egoistical, egomaniacal, egotistic, egotistical, megalomaniac, narcissistic, pompous, self-indulgent, self-interested, self-loving, self-serving, selfish, stuck-up.

There seems to be a serious "lack of class" problem here.

Matt Drudge had a link to a story the other day. Seems ole' Bob and Whit were having a romantic moment, Bob just having proposed again to Whit. Unfortunately, the moment was spoiled by Mr. Dumpy coming to call. But wait! Want to know the best part of all of this? It's all on tv! We can share these special moments with Bob and Whit!

But immediately after Houston accepted Brown's proposal, bodily functions became the dominant topic of discussion for the night, with the former NEW EDITION frontman dashing from the table to the bathroom while his wife explained to viewers of reality show BEING BOBBY BROWN, "He's had the runs since yesterday."

But wait! Picture in your head the glamarous Whitney Houston, blessed with one of the most beautiful voices in my lifetime...star of My Bodyguard with Kevin Costner...

Whitney then opened her mouth:

Houston's imminent need to defecate soon followed, after she complained about the cramps she was experiencing.

Before bolting from the table, she showed off her bloated stomach and affectionately told her husband, "I'm about to do the doo. I'm about to drop it on the one - a boat lad."

These are the role models that are on television? Give me a good book instead.